How to Give Developmental Feedback

Let’s face it: feedback conversations can feel as awkward as pulling on a door clearly labeled “Push.”

But here’s the thing—feedback is the secret sauce of growth! Whether you’re a leader coaching your team or a teammate navigating peer reviews, fostering a feedback culture is the game-changer your workplace (and maybe your relationships) desperately need.

So, how do you get everyone comfortable with giving and receiving feedback without cringing? 🥴
You create a culture where feedback is as natural as a happy dog wagging its tail.

Let’s dive into the why, then the how—and end with a sprinkle of practical tips, real-life examples to make it all stick.

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Why Feedback Matters

(Spoiler alert: it’s not just for performance reviews!)

Feedback isn’t just about ticking a box during annual reviews. It’s about helping people grow, fostering trust, and creating a safe space for continuous improvement.

A culture of feedback resembles a gym for your workplace. It develops communication muscles that strengthen teams and drive results…and you must show up, and continuously do the work to see the results! 💪

Here’s what a healthy feedback culture does:

• Fosters trust by showing that everyone’s voice and growth are a priority.
• Drives innovation because ideas, opinions and fresh perspectives are welcomed, not feared.
• Reduces conflict by addressing issues early instead of letting them fester.

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The SBI Framework: Your Feedback Cheat Sheet

What is SBI? It’s an acronym that stands for Situation, Behaviour, Impact—the ultimate tool for nailing feedback without triggering defensiveness.

Example:

• Situation: “During yesterday’s team presentation…”
• Behavior: “…you interrupted Sarah twice when she was explaining the timeline.”
• Impact: “It made it hard for the team to follow her point and disrupted the flow of the discussion.”
  

See how this is simple, clear, and to the point? No finger-pointing, just facts. You’re addressing a behaviour, not attacking the individual.

Let’s explore two real-life examples to see SBI in action—one for managing downward feedback and one for managing up.

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Coaching Sarah: Navigating Feedback with Empathy

“I don’t want to come off as insensitive,” Sarah shared, “but it’s affecting the team and my own workload. I’ve tried addressing it, but nothing seems to change. How do I approach this without making things worse?”

The Scenario: It’s a situation many of us can relate to—getting caught between empathy and accountability.

Sarah, a seasoned manager, finds herself stuck in a challenging dynamic with one of her direct reports, Jane. At first, Sarah empathised with Jane’s adjustments when she re-entered the workforce after coming back from parental leave. She made allowances when Jane missed deadlines and even offered flexibility, understanding the transition back to work would take time.

Fast forward a year, and the missed deadlines haven’t stopped. Sarah is feeling the strain. She cares deeply about Jane and doesn’t want to appear insensitive, but the team’s productivity is suffering. “What do I do?” she wonders. “I don’t want to seem like I’m not supportive, but this can’t go on.”

And here’s the thing—we can all feel for Sarah and Jane. It’s a common situation, and it doesn’t only apply to extended leave transitions. Leaders everywhere face similar dilemmas when balancing empathy, being nice, being professional and managing the needs of the team.

Let’s explore how Sarah can navigate this.

📋 Coaching Sarah:

Before delivering feedback, Sarah needs to set the foundation:

1. Check in with empathy: Ask if everything is okay. Sometimes personal or professional challenges may explain a pattern of behaviour.¹
2. Clarify expectations: Ensure deadlines and the reasons behind them are explicitly communicated. People often fail to deliver when the “why” isn’t clear.
3. Assess workload feasibility: Confirm whether the deadlines are realistic given Jane’s capacity.
4. Document patterns: Use specific examples to address recurring behaviours and their impacts.
   

¹ _{Note: This is the most obvious but often missed step. We tend to assume…a lot! #IYKYK}

🎯 Sarah’s SBI Response:

• Situation: “In our last three standing meetings, we discussed deadlines for [Project X].”
• Behavior: “Each time, the deadline wasn’t met, and I only found out on the due date.”
• Impact: “This delayed the project timeline and created additional work for me to reallocate resources.”
  

💡 Delivery Tip:

Pair this feedback with a constructive suggestion:

“Moving forward, I’d like you to let me know a day or two ahead if a deadline won’t be met. That way, we can adjust plans without impacting the team’s workflow.”

This approach keeps the conversation factual and solutions-focused, reinforcing accountability without losing empathy.

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Coaching Adam: Empowering Upward Feedback

The Scenario: Adam, a diligent and ambitious team member, is juggling several projects alongside his regular work. His manager, John, keeps adding last-minute assignments without clarifying priorities.

“I feel like I’m running on a treadmill that’s speeding up,” Adam confided. “I want to do a great job, but with so many things being urgent, I’m stretched too thin to do anything well. How do I even start this conversation without coming across as difficult?”

We all want employees like Adam—dedicated, conscientious, and emotionally intelligent enough to voice concerns. Adam is one of those people who truly cares about the quality of his work and the team’s success. But right now, he’s in a tough spot. His manager, John, keeps piling on projects without clarifying priorities, leaving Adam overwhelmed and unsure where to focus.

“I want to do good work,” Adam admitted, “but when everything feels urgent, I’m spread too thin to excel at anything. I don’t want to seem like I’m complaining, but I need clarity. How do I talk to John without coming off as difficult?”

Let’s face it: having someone like Adam, who is willing to point out our blind spots, is a huge asset. Don’t shy away when your team gives you feedback.

Here’s how Adam can take charge of the situation, manage up and give upward feedback in a way that leads to alignment, not defensiveness:

📋 Coaching Adam:

Before addressing his manager, Adam can:

1. Use the Urgent vs. Important Matrix: Categorise tasks to understand what needs immediate attention versus long-term focus.
2. Frame the conversation collaboratively: Focus on aligning priorities rather than blaming.
3. Prepare examples: Highlight how shifting priorities have impacted his productivity.
   

🎯 Adam’s SBI Feedback:

• Situation: “In the past two weeks, you’ve assigned three additional projects on top of my regular work.”
• Behavior: “These came with overlapping deadlines and without clarity on which to prioritize.”
• Impact: “This made it difficult to focus, and I’ve struggled to deliver my best work on all fronts.”
  

💡 Delivery Tip:

Follow up with a request:

“Can we review my current workload together and decide on key priorities? It would help me focus on delivering the highest-quality results.”

This empowers Adam to manage upward confidently, fostering a transparent and productive working relationship.

Something to Try Today

Want to get started? Here’s a simple exercise: 👇

1. Think of a recent situation where you’ve wanted to give feedback but hesitated.
2. Write it out using the SBI framework.
3. Practice saying it aloud. The more you rehearse, the more natural it will feel when the time comes to deliver it.

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Feedback isn’t about focusing on what’s wrong, or criticising someone—it’s about growth. Whether you’re giving or receiving it, remember that the goal is to build trust. Address the behaviour and avoid tearing down relationships. By using tools like SBI and embracing empathy, you’ll create a culture where feedback is not only welcomed but transformative.